''I am His Masterpiece. and what I am is my Masterpiece''

To paint is to appreciate and believe in the beauty of art.  To  create  the masterpiece that  brings out the beauty of the soul 

''Sometimes I just feel so Childlike''

In life's adversities, oftentimes we desire to be of water's consistency, it just fits in to where it's poured into and it  remains still and calm after it's passed by the wind.

Nature is  one of the best gifts we received from Him. It's beauty transcends to the creatures living and depending on their survival just like how we need each other to live .

To be with someone is to feel security, comfort and love. But no matter how long  that someone  has kept you waiting,  still be hopeful and keep holding on for the thought  that  nothing is long enough waiting for a special one  whose worth waiting for.

Being young is not about chronologically or biologically  age related, rather it's all about the attitude and feeling of being such. I love to act and feel like i'm always young!

Smiling often just increases our years and  gives us another chances of having more smiles in the future. So keep on smiling if you still love to live life happily 

Music is a great way to channel once soul. It's  similar to living life.  The notes are not always high, low and  flat, sometimes, there's a great harmony of tones and pitch that create a good harmony. And then it becomes something nice to hear and feel.

Life will never be as good as we want it to be if there's no sense of balance and control. Like a boat with it's paddle, the master should be strong and certain enough to exert the right energy for the paddle to work and guide the direction of the boat and he should move careful eough not to keep the boat capsized and sink. 

In the end of everything we can just realize that reaching success is  like choosing the right moves and  keeping on guard from others. 

Best Love quotes from TheThreeBigWords

I've never stopped thinking about you, even though you stopped thinking about me.


Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet, because trust me, he can drop you on your ass just as fast.


It is a risk to love, but it is the one risk worth taking more than any other.


Wanted by MANY, taken by NONE, talking to SOME, just waiting for O N E.


When I wake in the morning, I find it hard to open my eyes, in my dreams, everything is so perfect, I live in hope that dreams can come true


They say when you truly love someone, everything just clicks & there is nothing about them u wud change, I know exactly what they mean now


I could spend every last second of my life with them & never ever live a day regretting it, every day i love them a little more...

'I'm patiently waiting for the one'' that's because of love (:

It's like heaven has exalted the moment i knew him. 

It wasn't very certain but i feel strongly for it. 

I always like thinking about him

But oftentimes it's only the thought of him 

would linger since time hinders us to capture 

a sight of each other

though we don't speak much

i still hope he would be brave enough to converse

i just have a lot of things i wanna know about him

Sometimes when  our eyes meet, 

i feel a powerful collision of elements 

that gives my nerve the current of electricity.

that even though we've not know much

i greatly feel for him

I wanted him to think of me too.

And if it's so, i would become the happiest 

and most in loved person in the whole universe

and i would cherish every moment we would spend together

Only God is the witness of how i strongly feel for him

that the one thing i loved to know about him is of how he feels towards me.

''friends are forever''

A true  friend is one of the best persons we would ever have in our life. He/ she shows not just in happy times but most


importantly being present in the midst of our trying hard moments. Never a time she ignores our ideas, stories and


opinions though at times they might get so non sense already. Rather they pay a listening ear to hear and help us out


whenever we get in trouble. She gives the most horrible critic not to destroy us or  hurt our feelings but to construct us..


our unseen  faults and flaws into a better  way.




I really treasure, value and love my friends. I find a family in them. I feel the sense of  belonging.

''it's like a wish given by installment basis''

                                                  There are stuffs i keep just inside of me
                                                of sweet feelings that have kept my heart
                                                      beating lively with full of hopes

                                      Every time i can have a glimpse of this special creature
                                           every second becomes a hard fleeting time
                                                 and the thought of it makes me stay
                                                    like being in the wonderland

                                       No matter how impossible to think things might be
                                         still holding on for something that may happen
                                            something that's hard enough to believe
                                         but could have been the greatest ever prayed

                                           Someday, somehow things may happen
                                                           as i would love to be
                                          it's just a matter of deeply believing of it

                                                  For nothing is impossible
                                             nothing is ever hard to achieve
                                                  neither easy to loose
                                     if you would only give your heart to it.

                                         And now, little stuffs are progressing
                                                   to something better
                                 better enough to believe that things are like
                                      falling in accordance to how i just feel

  
 So i greatly thank God for gradually letting me feel a given wish is granted in an installment basis

work, play and pray

 Working for a long, stressing week is a bit exhausting but when you end the week with a fun time with good buddies, the stressors tend to evaporate from you and you'll find great time eating, chatting and laughing out loud with friends.

To smile is the best way to relieve the stress and  to stay happy as always. No matter how hard times get along the way, or how problems crash your door,,, i don't let my neurons boil and evaporate easily. Instead, i think of the good things and smile with huge positivity in mind.

And the bottom line after a day full  of activity...... PRAYER becomes my outlet and expression when i get a whisper closer to God.

''we are missioned to care''

We chose Nursing not because our parents wanted to, or the society is demanding it... but simply because we feel for the sick, the poor and the affected. We have the passion to care, nurture, comfort and heal their pain.

These people have great hearts ready to serve and care.We have unique qualities but we work for the same cause.

 

 

''Love is in the air''

It's already past November... done with the trick or treat, Halloween stuffs and the in commemoration of our beloved dead.

So, what's up for the next? 

Well, it's about time to prepare for the coming of Christmas season. And definitely time fleets so fast that every passing moment seems to be catching us freaking up with how and what to be planning in for the special celebration.

Since Christmas scent is in the air, also lovely moments tend to dominate the vicinity and every corner of our place becomes eye-catching, attractive and people becomes more thoughtful and fun than the usual.

If there's only one thing I will be lucky enough to ask as a gift this coming Christmas from God.... surely it would be finding someone,,,, the one who would  turn my world a bit crazy, wonderful, colorful, more exciting and lovelier.  ( hahahahah!) I'm not hovering... though i always include this in my prayer,,, i know in time He will just send me the right one. <3 <3 <3

And as always I will be asking God and Mama Mary's continuous guidance and providence for me, my grandma, my family, good friends around and all the needy people.

when my time to serve has come it's filled with love and fun!

going out of one's shell is about change... something that would satisfy your self from all the lags and set backs you used to have. Doing such is a way of maintaining an emotionally and socially healthy relationship with  others. 

Nursing profession is nurturing, caring, comforting and  healing. It's more than serving, coz it's about giving oneself freely for others. 

being fit is being healthy and happy. being with funny and true people is hilariously wonderful!
I'm loving more my job because i know there are good  friends around.

And these group has become my new  colleagues. I'm so much proud to be part of our Institution- the CCMC.
various people, with beautiful faces and unique personalities challenge me to set a great difference in everything i do for myself, for them and for my patients.

fun fun with good pipz around!

this is amazing! first time to wear very short shorts outdoors... hehehe! but it feels good !

funny people are just nice to be with.

i'm
   
  super
        duper
               happy
                      and 
                           thankful

                                     <3 <3 <3

Just as when answered prayer came!

I never ever thought this week will be one of my most fulfilling and happiest weeks so far in 2011. 
As the famous saying goes... ''best thing comes when it is least expected'' and so there goes when i received the best news, heaven to my ears in the midst of a feverish, dizzy, badly flat, looming on bed. And wallah! it was such a great relief. 


After 3 try in pursuing my goal to get employed in a certain institution, finally now, i got it and soon i'll be working in there together with my good fellas. Though there's this great feeling of uncertainties and apprehensions about how will i be in the orientation , lectures, discussions, and exposure in the clinical settings still I'm trying to let myself believe in my abilities, in my uniqueness from somebody else in dealing with such circumstances. That in every way, we are all different.. and that one's knowledge, skills and attitudes are not measured with other's yardstick... It's all about doing it in one's way, with great passion, willingness and enthusiasm that one could tell whether he is doing great and exemplary works among others.


So, it's like for now, I should be getting so receptive and open for stuffs to get into my senses, learning things i haven't experienced previously and embracing the modern, ideal and realistic ways of my profession. At the same time building great, funny, wonderful, and warm friendship with my colleagues. It is in good and harmonious relationship where each one could be in his best mood in dealing with our clients, workmates and our own selves. 


Now that i'm starting to live up my profession in a more nursing way, i have to develop and improve my sense of caring, comforting, responsibility, credibility and discipline as a nurse. I should be combating against my problems with time and execution, demolish procrastination and half-baked performances. I should be giving the best that i could without expecting of something as a reward.


For me, this is not the peak of my ambition though this has opened another door for me to seek for greater happiness and fulfillment. I'm just starting and i certainly see from here .. i'm gonna make a long way out of it. With God's guidance and blessings!

''Life is not what you think as easy as playing your fav game'' but you must win it no matter what!

before i get to take what i want, i first do sacrifices

usually a lot of it, in everything i wish to have

i often walk first on the rough roads just to go along my desired destination

it's like nothing is chicken for me in this world

i was born to experience the great bitterness of life

i didn't even had a chance to be  with the sweetest family most people would admire 

or do fancy leisure activities with them just to kill the time and enjoy

i used to feel guilty for pampering myself that other people would have needed instead greater than i do

but the only thing He had given me without much effort of availing to is having an understanding mind and a patient heart

so that i get to absorbed every little pain i went through as useful as life

knowing that without them popping out along the way, i wouldn't have appreciated and lived life more meaningfully.

So, it's like sacrificing is usual for me, like cliche for a woman whom God knew and believed to be strong enough to hurdle her struggles in life though at some points almost loosing balance and grip.

And i get to think of enjoying it while reaping the little success from getting through every sacrificial acts in life.

I just thank God.. Mama Mary, all My Angels and Saints in heaven for giving me all the strength, power, patience, endurance, self- trust,  good will and smart understanding of all His plans for me though some are still blurry but with prayers... nothing is impossible... it would be laid as clear as the waters of a lake. 

To God be the Glory!

all is well!

we we're born this way according to His plans..reasons and perfect timing are for everything

Through the early chapters of my life, when emotions are just rushing to its peak, i came to the point of questioning His power, will and plan for me. It wasn't an ordinary action because its not just merely spoken by my mouth as processed by my brain and gestured by my body but it was something coming from the deepest part of my broken and painful heart. The silent, hard and aching cry uttering, '' why Lord, why You made me growing without a mother, a father and a real family to give me the love  i ever wanted to feel?''


I grew up with only my grandma supporting me all the way in all the concerns in schools and in personal matters of everyday living. Though how much i  had been already gratified with her presence and providence still when dissapoinments, insecurities and stressors sharply hit my mind and heart then there went the asking moments with sense of resentments and blaming, feeling that He had been so relentless to me for not giving me a complete family.


I used to be feeling envious and pitying myself  when i had gone to church all by myself.. always... always a scenario that often reminded me of how broken i am..too bad! Issues, unresolved and conflicting bothered me somehow when triggering factors are around. It seems like.. ''gosh.. i really need to achieve all these tasks no matter how late.. it's better be than never at all''..which is a consolidatory  factor then just to end what I've been often processing inside. 


As i got into the adult life, there were more and more struggles that i thought i must surpass just to be successful in my goals. It's like the bad things if left unfaced or run unto.. would leave me half-baked and so not a fully grown and developed individual. Which is indeed right. So, confrontation, strength  and courage are the keys i was hoping to open the way into greater heights of maturity and progress. 


But somehow, no matter how we hope for things to happen soon as we wanted it but it isn't always getting our way. We have different perfect time, perfect moment when things are going its ways to reality no matter  there's less struggling for it to happening. Simply because it just meant to come. As i do believe in it,  while having my way leading to somewhere i wanted to reach, i realized the pain in struggling, the difficulty and hard moments  that test my endurance are signs that it's not yet the perfect moment for me. So i learn how to wait patiently for whatever the chances would bring me toward the points of life i would love of getting through about. 


Thus, things no matter how black and white would appear to us, it isn't a fair  to hover, complain and question a lot.. it's just getting through a widened and broadened perspective and acceptance that achieving something is not always at the time we just wanted it,, great things pay for a long wait and  entails patience and endurance. And that everything happens for a reason.. it's just a matter of acceptance of what's not ought to be changed and defy what's better for change because in this world we live in, we are only creatures master pieced by Someone who have better plans for us. It's about sensing where He has leading us- exemplary qualities that are not as easy as 1,2,3... less has it!

what are those? life and......

Life has more than what we know it can offer

both positive and negative energies 

having control over our ways,

 movement, feelings, emotions, 

thoughts, personalities, behaviors and our spirits

......

the happiness

the sadness

the triumphs

the pains

the successes

the failures

the problems

the ways out

the white

the black

the power

the glory

the fame

the wealth

the uncertainties

the unforeseeable

the risks

the assurance

the strengths

the weaknesses

.....

only if we know how to balance these energies..

it will never put greater harm in our living

rather we learn from them and we can develop much 

energy for the heart and soul.

I miss my home!!!

I miss my everything about my native life:


I miss
washing my clothes at the back of our house
taking  a bath outside under the rain
eating fish and seafood almost everyday
fetching pails of water for our CR
cooking a lot of menu during fiesta
chatting with neighbors along the lawn of the house
selling sweet potatoes and peanuts to our buyers
watering our plants every morning and afternoon
making credits from stores when we're broke
strolling along the sea wall watching divers and fishermen
buying fashion stuffs at or very own Bol anon stores
riding on POTPOT, TRISIKAD, TRICYCLE
joining procession after pm mass
visiting my late beloved at the cemetery, bringing flowers and lighting candles
paying visit to my alma mater.. the central school and the regional high school




How i wish i could be at home now... ):

''5mos and i hope to cease counting... but His will shall be''

It's been a trashy 5mos since I've been stocked in the house after i quit  immediately from work when my grandma needed someone to look over her health while the rest of the people in the house is away for work. Well, i felt like it's really my responsibility to forsake work just for her needs.. it's a priority for me above most things in life.


But early way back the time i started to spend my unemployed life.. i never thought of getting this far living jobless since i had been waiting for a hiring in one of my most liked hospitals in the city. I just didn't imagined in the first place that it would freeze and would have left me like waiting for a great uncertainty.


In general, staying more frequently in the house was not a total boredom and jerking stuff for me. Infact i enjoyed it especially the first early days ago since I've really missed hanging  out and spending time with my grandma. I used to be very, overly and stress fully busy with my previous work as an institutional nurse that i tend to despise the time for my grandma and often spent overtime in the work. Then i found that time .. to be the best time in catching up for what i had missed before. So, i made everyday in the house worth remembering, enjoying and useful, helpful and significant.


The best thing i even realized being unemployed and just staying in the house was my opportunity to gain the pounds i had lost when i was still in work. Successfully i made it to a roughly enough gain of 15lbs. Thank God. It's like going back to a healthy individual i never been in my working time. But now and hopefully when i get to be in my future job.. I'll start well and maintain the wellness in me.


Of course with the length of time.. it's not avoidable to feel the urge to go out and make what you want in your life without thinking of things that might have held you back. But because of the great  love, gratitude, respect and inspiration i have for my grandma who had been standing as my mother ever since, i learned to hold back everything i desire for myself including the job,  love life and more adventures i hope to meet as of the moment... just for the sake of giving much time to her. She's too old to be forsaken and ignored.  while I'm still young to be fast and hurrying in pushing forward for the things I'd like to have.


Compromising my time for her didn't made me sobbing, despairing, and mad about life. I find enjoyment in everything i do.. even from the most difficult and hard things i have to go through with her, i view it differently with vigor and  hope that God is always there to give me strength.


In spite of the many cracking up, stupefying, odd, dumped stuffs I'm going through along the way... It's God's name i always call. Truly,,, i asked him to strengthen my heart and give me another tone of patience and endurance. It's all what it takes to surpass all the painful and sacrificing things in life as we all know that we can't just pass by them otherwise we will not grow in life.


DIFFICULTY+ PRAYERS+ ACCEPTANCE+ CONFRONTATION+ PATIENCE+ ENDURANCE= GROWN UP SUCCESSFUL INDIVIDUAL=  Me in the near future! To God be the Glory!

when i thought it's over .. he's now happy and i'm regreting for what i hadn't done

It's been 7 years time when i had this much kept secret between me and my best friend. Well, as usual crushes, infatuations, admiration turning into puppy love and later to something i didn't expect it would be cropping up now.

I  seldom fall for my classmates and friends at school and it was weird -funny one time when i was dreaming of someone who happened to be my hero, lover, dear, and sweet splendor in my deep sleep. Not realizing that dream would change everything i feel about for that someone the next day after dreaming that night. So, it really happened and i turned out to be deeply dumb liking Mr. guy until it reached into college without him knowing it. Simply because i didn't bother to show even a single sign that i admired him so much. It was only my best friend knew of it. After so many years not seeing each other, we met one time for a friend gathering and i felt like he's not so comfy in approaching me, talking to me or stuffs like communicating much as i do too.. but i pretended to be natural and as if nothings deeply felt for him though there was.. just as to hide it. At that meeting during taking shots for pictures, he did something that made my nerve cracking up for a while and i saw dragonflies overhead.. but before i appeared so affected and carried away,i ignored the funny- stupid but sweet moment he made.. and i gave pretentious smile to hide the great happiness i felt that time. After sometime i wonder how the heck he would think of doing it to me when in fact he's awkwardly behaving with me... uhg,,,
Now, he's happy with her new girl and much as i would want to feel as well for him but regrets for being so secretive and introvert is dominant and softly pushing me to hell.
This is clearly a lesson for me.
That...
Not all the time we get what we want, and feel what we wanted to  but God has given as faculties and senses to express and defy what we need and love in life... it's a loss to ignore there purpose and let go of someone you just wanted your feelings to be expressed unto. It's too late when they find the things in the first place they're expecting from you but they find it from someone new.

randomeness of lifes feelings

 

Everyday of r lives gives us the chance to see a newer outl0ok in living, we may be disapp0inted ystrday bt h0peful to acc0mplish s0methng f0r t0m0r0w.. Everyday brings us to various experiences that m0ld us to s0meone beter..thus everyday should be warmly embraced f0r it always gives us sec0nd chances to lavish life's beauty.

 

at our least expected time, we c0me to cr0ss with s0me0ne we have always waited f0r l0ng... We either learn that weirdness f0r that s0meb0dy fr0m the m0ment of first l0ok or litle c0nversati0n or just after a couple of getting to kn0w thing.. Yet whichever h0lds m0re true, the magical feeling has always been there fr0m the very first sec0nd both eyes met.. ♥

With all the odds al0ng my way... I will have to endure you... N0thing's g0nna bl0ck me t0wards the g0al...it d0esn't matter if its taking time...gradually, eventually...Î wil make it! (= (hi-spirited)

N0 one can d0 like superman or superw0man... We just w0rk simply at our best with limits... Remember n0 ordinary human can jump off between buildings without breaking b0nes. Life is precious as the people wh0m we're w0rking f0r.. We'll have to keep it cause it's fragile.

BAND LAZY PEOPLE... D0n't even kn0w Or care on h0w to flush their pee and wash their dishes... Enj0y s0me0ne f0ll0wing their dirt... YOU HAVE N0 PLACE HERE ON EARTH..If you D0N'T CARE TO CHANGE.

At times we need to learn to bend and sway with where the wind directs us to...its a way to discern our strengths, overc0me weaknesses and learn fr0m unexpected experiences.. Rather than remaining rigid with pushing f0r our discreti0ns without kn0wing that it could break us with frustrati0ns. Taking time gradually..never hurry or we'll miss the w0rth experiencing sweet and bitrness of life.

 

It's been a while, and i' miss d0ing my thing but n0 regrets f0r what' greatly matter is kn0wing that s0me0ne'S happy and thankful f0r my presence and care... It's d0ing everything f0r ♥ thank you G0D f0r always making me feel okay and h0peful f0r a brighter t0m0rr0w (=

 

 

Death... Loss....the hardest thing to bear about life

I'm afraid of death..well its  a reality that almost all the people would have fear of facing to. 

In my case i would perhaps be more afraid of loosing someone too dear to me than I myself facing it. It's a doomsday for me to see that person loosing it's last breath. 

Being a nurse, who have been used in seeing, touching and talking to corpse somehow give me a bit of courage to manage witnessing death but  its a different story if your directly involve with that someone. too painful and a great feeling of loss would dominate every nerve of your body... That's why i wish i could be numb when things about death and loss would come suddenly, unexpectedly or even at times you expect it to come. 

Just lately, my best friend had lost her beloved mom. I thought it was very, very tragic and unacceptable moment for them but it wasn't that bad. Her late mom had been fighting against a incurable disease to the point of no way out, so, gradually they had been used with the reality that any moment, any minute, hour or day, she would passed away and so it just happened. I realized how strong my best friend was to have passed the stage of acceptance as part of the grieving process anyone would be experiencing times of loss. A query that wold be answered at the very moment my greatest fear will sooner or later arrive. For, me a cloud of uncertainty have enveloped my perspective about life's death and loss. And Fear dominates my heart because i know that someday, sooner or later, in no definite time,,,  the ever dearest person of my life would leave me. Its so sad to think of about it but its the only way i think i could bring myself being used to that odd reality. And i had thought at the back of my mind, how bout me? how will i manage to loose someone i know no even indefinite time my beloved would have gone away.

I thought maybe i would loose all my spirit when death of someone dear  would come right in front me  simply  because that person had been giving me all the reasons to live, the inspiration and the love to grow into someone full of life even at the midst of the hurdling moments. 

Sometimes when i was younger i wish i could never get to love and be intimately close with someone whose too old and too sickly so that i would not be experiencing a great loss when they have to leave.. but suddenly i realized, life is not always fair at all,, relative and distinct that even the young and the unborn could have left their love ones at times its least expected because its already their time, their fate and destiny to be one with the creator though we strongly protest our contradictions to natural things from happening... its still done co'z it's His will.

Our part here is only to accept what's cannot be change. Death is inevitable, escapeless  and painful.

Strength, courage and acceptance would be the best counterpart against the uncertainties of death and dying.

despair not and be inlove!

What If, no matter what your love life is like now - even if there's no man at all, or the man you have is pulling away and you feel alone, scared and angry - you could change everything?

You can! And all it will take is a few simple shifts in your words and body language to connect to a man where it counts... through his heart.

just be hopeful and patient and think positive about life and love.

''Realities that fond and stink''

Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish it.

She comes off as strong, but maybe she fell asleep crying. She acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying.

As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have a ton of friends, and more important to have real ones.

Smart man + smart woman = romance. Smart man + dumb woman = affair. Dumb man + smart woman = marriage. Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy.

Don't worry if you're single. God is looking at you right now, saying, "I'm saving this one for someone special."

I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I'm marrying my dreams.

It's funny how one little conversation or action can change things forever...Just because I'm nice doesn't mean 

I'm weak. Don't try to take advantage of me, don't take me for granted.

If you've been cheated on, lied to, used, or anything else by the wrong guy; keep smiling, your happiness is on it's way.

The harder you try to forget something, the more you think about it subconsciously.


 from: @TheNotebook

''keep on dreaming as long as there are still nights of tight sleeps''

Dreaming is something i can't get over with..yeah..surely I'm a dreamer and i don't wanna stop being one.
It brings me to to the peak i just wanted to reach no matter how far and difficult to get through.
It somehow also becomes a way to escape a dreadful reality with the thought of getting back from it.
Dreaming leaves you back to the place where you first saw your dreamed man. And a lot of wonderful things could happen in that moment of dreaming to the point of  never wanting to be awaken at all.
I want to dream to become someone i always liked to be
I love to dream to see him spending time with me
I enjoy dreaming when its with my lovely friends'  company
I used to be dreaming to see a wonderful place
that could never be seen anywhere here on earth.

Dreaming is a priceless way to be rich and to be someone and somebody.

have you ever realized of not thinking about eating your words someday...?

well, just as i feel now, i did..but not so sure if its really it being eaten or just the circumstance is just a fate or destined to happen...i don't know much if this is karma...but it isn't.. surely.

so, this was just this feeling of excruciating pain, sometimes a creeping numbness or hollow black pit eating you out..were some of the things that made me so much pressured or disappointed or frustrated about being solo in life.

I never expect this to be cropping up now, the crisis in isolation versus intimacy roles. Yeah, this holds true to me very well that i could just relate it to our previous class in growth and development.

I realize it well, when i had meet up all the tasks of this role at the exact time i should have been experiencing it then i ought to not suffering the frustrations i am into now. Well, regret is just now, but not for long since every lapses could always be patched up though no matter how later in life...as long as you could never missed it.


I somehow find it a bit karma since  i almost had all the opportunity when i was younger but i just ignored them and fall into the pit of procrastination thinking that there's more  to come in time ahead.. though its indeed true. I just hope i never  waisted before what i am supposed to have now. But surely i think this is not just karma...for even once i never did something bad to all those trying to pursue me.. i just made a declining decision..something that's what my heart and mind uttered and that somehow hurt them but just a bit.

Then i had said it could have been fate or a destiny.. well its only God knows..I'm kinda assuming just to avoid the guilt feelings instead. Well going through back on my younger days still i hadn't find someone that suites best my personality or someone I'm comfortable into.So, i guess its was not yet the right time.. and i guess its just coming so soon.

Yeah.. so freaking  confusing.. and now I'm falling down into a mixture of self crisis and  i just could not get out until i sort out things into the right places. And the huge question how could i?

But whatever it is..that made me up confuse, disappointed, frustrated and pressured today..i know it would have an end.

Maybe just got to face them with less fear... confronting what's bugging off and accepting what's hard and changing what's needed to get better.

How to achieve a good relationship?

6 Keys to a good relationship: friendship, freedom, honesty, trust, understanding, and communication.

Friendship- lovers shouldn't be bonded only through intimacy but also of friendship. Realizing that its also best to enjoy company as friends where both of you could share each others joys and sorrows, helping through thick and thin, and never letting go when the other is shortly behind..theirs always this lending hand ready to take a grip of a falling hand. When you treat each other as friends you will be more trusting with disclosing up secrets thus trust and faith to each other is strengthened. 

Freedom- Love is never a prison of lovers rather a feeling that each other is set free to choose their true love. Giving one's relationship with enough freedom would deepen much more than anything else your respect for one's interests.

Honesty- As the famous quotation says, ''Honesty is the best policy'', indeed true as applied to all kinds of relationships. When both of the couples is honest to each other there's no fear and uncertainties of any break ups and quarrels.

Trust- A woman once asked which does come first? love or trust? Its right to say that its trust that harvests love. Without it, you can never find someone worthy of any love at all. Aside from that fact, trust is also the first task we human have to achieve in our first stage of life. It couldn't be skipped, because if so, great conflicts would arise later in life that definitely affects the handling of certain relationships.

Understanding- In a relationship there's always someone whose good enough to understand. Understanding is not being martyr and tolerating any mischievous acts of the other but its about giving the benefit of the doubt and hearing the others side to be establish fairness and harmony. If both of the couples doesn't like to understand, no relationship is good enough for them to stay longer for it will cause them to tear their interest and mutual perception of things.

Communication- Maybe among all the element, i think communication should be the first to exist in order for the other factors to follow. Its not only enough to communicate, but taking into consideration its important elements should count most for a more successful relationship. So, its not only speaking and hearing but there's this comprehension, good channeling, delivering and just perception and obtaining of message from the one who send it. hen barriers are playing tricks in the middle, its best to counteract it with proper, good and sweet ways of communication.

''Its all I ask of you''

It wasn't the first time  i heard of the phantom opera music ''Its all i ask of you'' but when i just heard it a moment ago, was then i had a deep understanding and  feeling of its lyrical meaning. Remembering back the first time i heard it ,I just had no idea of how it means and what it brings for people to be in loved of it.


Now, its melody, the voices and the meaning it  wanders me to somewhere else, another world that makes me feel as if I'm part of it. Every word touches me deep inside and let me realize how lovely it is to be hoped by someone to share each others warmth of love.

RAOUL
No more talk
of darkness,
Forget these
wide-eyed fears.
I'm here,
nothing can harm you -
my words will
warm and calm you.

Let me be
your freedom,
let daylight
dry -your tears.
I'm here,
with you, beside you,
to guard you
and to guide you . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you love me
every
waking moment,
turn my head
with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me
with you,
now and always . . .
promise me that all
you say is true -
that's all I ask
of you . . .

RAOUL
Let me be
your shelter,
let me
be your light.
You're safe:
No-one will find you
your fears are
far behind you . . .

CHRISTINE
All I want
is freedom,
a world with
no more night . . .
and you
always beside me
to hold me
and to hide me . . .

RAOUL
Then say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime . . .
Iet me lead you
from your solitude . . .

Say you need me
with you
here, beside you . . .
anywhere you go,
let me go too -
Christine,
that's all I ask
of you . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime . . .
say the word
and I will follow you . . .

BOTH
Share each day with
me, each
night, each morning . . .

CHRISTINE
Say you love me . . .

RAOUL
You know I do . . . 

BOTH
Love me -
that's all I ask
of you . . .

(They kiss)

Anywhere you go
let me go too . . .
Love me -
that's all I ask
of you . .

I think this is just great for a wedding song... mine someday..i just love it!