when i thought it's over .. he's now happy and i'm regreting for what i hadn't done

It's been 7 years time when i had this much kept secret between me and my best friend. Well, as usual crushes, infatuations, admiration turning into puppy love and later to something i didn't expect it would be cropping up now.

I  seldom fall for my classmates and friends at school and it was weird -funny one time when i was dreaming of someone who happened to be my hero, lover, dear, and sweet splendor in my deep sleep. Not realizing that dream would change everything i feel about for that someone the next day after dreaming that night. So, it really happened and i turned out to be deeply dumb liking Mr. guy until it reached into college without him knowing it. Simply because i didn't bother to show even a single sign that i admired him so much. It was only my best friend knew of it. After so many years not seeing each other, we met one time for a friend gathering and i felt like he's not so comfy in approaching me, talking to me or stuffs like communicating much as i do too.. but i pretended to be natural and as if nothings deeply felt for him though there was.. just as to hide it. At that meeting during taking shots for pictures, he did something that made my nerve cracking up for a while and i saw dragonflies overhead.. but before i appeared so affected and carried away,i ignored the funny- stupid but sweet moment he made.. and i gave pretentious smile to hide the great happiness i felt that time. After sometime i wonder how the heck he would think of doing it to me when in fact he's awkwardly behaving with me... uhg,,,
Now, he's happy with her new girl and much as i would want to feel as well for him but regrets for being so secretive and introvert is dominant and softly pushing me to hell.
This is clearly a lesson for me.
That...
Not all the time we get what we want, and feel what we wanted to  but God has given as faculties and senses to express and defy what we need and love in life... it's a loss to ignore there purpose and let go of someone you just wanted your feelings to be expressed unto. It's too late when they find the things in the first place they're expecting from you but they find it from someone new.