''The Real behind the Trappings''

In reality, i had never been as happy as a child is given a birthday party, with clowns, balloons and give a ways.


Exactly,,, still waiting for it to the point of searching that happiness i find withdrawn away from me.


With the kind of life i have, though its not as harsh as the unfortunate people living homeless along the street, but its as worst as parent less and without much freedom at all.


I find a lot of questions at the back of my mind, but the right persons are neither around to utter all the answers.


I feel a lot of disappointments, heartaches of being incomplete as a family.


I suffer a lot of inferiority and  self- pity when i could see others spending time with their family.


I sacrifice setting back some of my love, wants and likes in this life... i just couldn't do things as i want to... we're not in our own comfort zones so we rather sway on what the powerful would say.


I haven't gone yet  to far places for fun explorations  and do diving, snorkeling, mountain climbing, night clubbing, bar hopping and any wild and fun things for sake of curiosity and fulfillment.


I haven't come with a bonding moment with my mom and dad... its so sad.


All these are just how i find life could oftentimes be  unfair. But.....


But because of my motivation,,, I manage to retain the power of staying on tract and never letting stray.


Though I have countless missed precious opportunities in line, still i find that there's more countless reasons to stay alive, kicking and hoping.


That someday all these nice, fun and just worth experiencing happenings in my life would be filled up.




For now, no matter either how small things come or even  not come though we expect it to be, i have to appreciate them and make the best out of it.


For any thing that has been waited for long to arrive, its good to expect the best yet to come.


This great sense of motivation i have makes me strong, fighting and willing to sacrifice.


Though it doesn't make me very happy , it gives me the hope that beyond all the pains, difficulties and challenges comes a shinning sun with a smiley face ready to view the world with good values and character inspired by the Holy Spirit.






Hoping so....


Marz