Why does some Women choose to Stay Single even though its already a nice time of starting A good One?

 

Though puppy love, crazy infatuation and liking stuffs same as these usually pop out in  High school, still i never found myself getting with a boy beside me walking while holding hands together along the streets of our place..i thought this act might only become the talk of the town  just like Angie and brad.. and it sounds erratic and overly  for me. My friends even frightened me of getting easily impregnated soon in College out of a lovers shock scenario for the reason that i haven't yet taken even by a  a single guy for a date or what?

Then i tell to myself its never a loss if not having a man on those years rather i should be screaming for boys if at the age of 25 i still don't search one...oh no! a disaster!...there might be wrong in me perhaps..how could i be an NBSB UNTIL NOW?

So, when i get done with College things, handed me my diploma and passed the board with flying colors yet, seems my love life is sinking too deep. Sometimes i feel so frustrated but not desperate of course. Least of  My friends would often say..''hey your not getting any younger..be into it..or else you'll end up starving for it and there's no more stock available anymore for you if you'll have it later'' uh..this is nerve wrecking..i hate you friends for it! ha ha. Mostly utter things which sound so flowery to my ears,'' don't get sad about it, your still young.. there's more guys out there..maybe the right one hasn't yet to come. oh..whats this..? an angel and devil fighting just to get me..another hahaha!...

Are you going to be like her?

 i  bet you will not...its not worth of our frustration, tears and desperate moves my dear fellas....

instead

be like her...free ..happy...and with great optimism that she's not yet behind from everyone else in  the game called love...

BUT WHATEVER IT IS I HAVE MY OWN CONVICTION AND ITS HOPEFUL AS THE SUN SHINNING FOR ME!

Never hurry things up like its the last days of your life..as long as you know loving..chances are still big!

Always ask God's guidance in the search for Mr. Guy..

Don't be too much choosy...and picky...you will end up a looser and nothing to bring home in the end..

so here's some points why some girls and particularly me choose to stay single

The single life is not only appealing to men. Historically, women have not had access to the same opportunities as men, which encouraged them to commit just to make a better life for themselves. Today, women have more options than ever, and among those options is the right to stay single, which comes with a variety of perks worthy of consideration.

• career
• independence
• solitude
• spontaneity
• social opportunities
• economic benefits
• fear
• caution
• happiness
• less negative impact on self image

Among all the listed  points above, for me career, solitude, independence and above most my  family  are the factors that that hold me back from getting into commitments with relationship of the opposite sex..I have been concerned  much more on prioritization of important things though i find relationship is really indeed an essential aspect of our dynamics as human being...still i figure it as something that may affect  the other factors. And it just happened that i choose to prioritize more my career and family. So, enjoying friends company has been my proxy from all the sentiments of being loveless, at least there are few who share their little time spending coffee or tea hours  with them.

As I've said,  its all in ourselves...we all have choices...and choosing the best decision on these.. matters most.

You could be loveless, untied, unconnected, free, single, available and  all ready to mingle ...or things like these..even  before and  until now...but it doesn't mean your a looser...an ugly girl,  fat chick,   moody  lad or  a crazy unpredictable woman...You just have to make other things to get into their proper places before you do your own thing on love...its also nice to know that out there.. God is still preparing the Mr. Guy of your life to be totally ready with commitments. So by the time both of you meet...time will never be as waste as trashes you could have dunked  on your cans by the time you hurry up things. and i just don't like it! Hope you too... :D

Marz

The Real On the Go Girl! No time to say Never!

My Elementary and High school lives were among the most memorable, super duper, trying hard, competitive, successful, and what ever you call describing a totally great experience i ever had so far.


Actually it started in my kindergarten years when competitiveness and being smart and talented initially popped out to be my best lines. I was able to make a recital of a graduation speech after achieving a 2nd honors award, i did a tinikling, kuracha, itik- itik and a pearly shell dance. All the memories are still vividly beautiful, cute and worth reminiscing. I could still remember being a leader in an exercise dance every morning and heading the Lupang Hinirang Song before getting started for everything in the class. I guess this is worth feting for...yohoooo!...what an amazing kid i was way back 16 yrs ago!




As i got into elementary, Everything seemed to be just the same. Same old competitive, talented, smart and obedient pupil remained to be proving her charisma on teachers and other pupils.
I had often been nominated in every class officer elections and my favorite position... if not vice president,,, well a secretary for a nice penmanship...I had always felt the fulfillment and happiness for every achievement i had gotten. And the more i crave for some more. So, its no longer a new thing for me if i try things without hesitations..in short had been starting to become a trying hard copy cat..


I remained to be a topnotcher pupil,,,if not in the 2nd spot..its a consolation to have the 3rd place. Thus i ens up to be the First honorable mention during the graduation. And it was a success! I played lots of sports during our school meets....district, division and regional levels where among the places i had come to conquer with playing pingpong or table tennis.. equally doing well with engaging in volleyball, badminton and cheering squad. Declamation, dancing, balagtasan, poem recital, comical skit, and even directing short  plays become my likes and  It was a great fun recalling the things i just hardly tried to do perfectly to achieve success.


When i get in high school..still i live in the competitive world where i had to be joining almost all the clubs and sports to prove that there's still the power in me to succeed. Though at times i lose the fight but its just great to feel the determination and urge to win. Still i became a declaimer, a dancer, a pageant contestant who just won the 3rd place yet fulfilling in the heart,a lawn tennis and table tennis player and the brave girl who run against the valedictorian both competing for the  presidential position in the student's body org. just finding at the end that its not worth my fight yet remained to be sports and accepting with the outcome.


These and more about competition and achieving something you like to have just teaches me the lessons of having great determination, finding good motivation and deeply praying to succeed...and if does not result to what is desired, then the readiness to accept for the failure and a positive mentality that there's still more chances out there. Patience is truly a virtue...we should hold on to it.


And finally as i get to college.. there was a sort of a bit fading of my competitiveness and the  gusto to try almost everything interesting around. In short  setting aside all my personal wants for victory, triumphs, power and fame as i do always have in my old passing younger life just as part of adjusting being an independent, working student knowing nothing was for free at that time. Instead , I struggled just as not to stop my studies and cut short all my financial support of which i had been receiving a not so enough thus leading me to thinking practically and creatively. In the midst of looking for a grip out of the looseness of hope to go through all the odds i met along the way, i met good people who encouraged me to keep on going and hoped for a help to arrive. Just as how i supposed to think  everything to happen, it did. Oh Thank God for it! With all the prayers, determination and the actions i made... all the dark holes had been gradually patched up and slowly i gotten a glance of sun rays above me until it all shone into my once scowling face.

Getting self ready! What if's .... having a glance of sugar and spice of the heart!

What if someone that u just met has a heart on you? and it happened that you like him too?


Of course i will feel so red with this fact. Maybe i cant sleep for a couple of days until it sinks deep in to my bones. Its nice to know that the one i fancied for is feeling the same way towards me. Its s great mutually heaven thing. Isn't it?


What if he makes the move of flirting on you? you know guys flirt too?


Hahahaha,,,sounds so nice to hear. Well, since i like the guy whose flirting on me,,,so i think i should entertain the fact that he is doing that sweet thing on me and i might flirt too..ooops not that what you thought of- the  malicious, sexy moves..uh.uh..not those but just flirt some ones...you know,,just a bit of body language indicating liking mood just as spending time with him through a talk with a cup of coffee or sharing unknown things between us..you know stuffs like these..in other words sharing moments with him in the purpose of testing compatibility and interest..


What if he asks you to be her girl friend though you've just known both only for a couple of weeks ago..would you give your yes?


Oh! this is a bit dilemma for me. How could i say no the the person i like in the first place knowing that he likes me too... on the other hand, how could i compromise my reserved image and precious love for the one though i like so much but has not yet been too known to me..still a bit stranger .


Well, i guess I'll turn down his request though its not so easy and ask him if we could we still have some more time for getting to know each other before i say yes to him. It depends on him if he's too fast and impatient for it then he could leave and find other girls to get just easily. I just don't happen to be his ordinary girl that he could easily sweep off my feet. I can resist the like..as long as its still not love yet..and it would be hard.


Will you entertain a couple of suitor's? or select only those that have the chances?




I remember one time a friend and a classmate whom i never realize to be liking me, asked me if he could he pursue my yes to be his girlfriend?... much to my surprise for it and feeling nothing special on him,, with no thinking twice, i turned down his request and explained that it will be better if we would remain as friends because i don't like him to be my boy friend.




I think it would be better to give no false hope to those guys out there who want to get the yeses of their fancied girls. So if ever i got plenty in line,, before they could get me into a date or what...i should frankly tell them  in the first place whether they will have the chance or not. Though its not easy to break up the good intentions of these guys but its too cruel too if you'll have them going around your hands yet in the end of the game there's no yes for them. I don't believe that though you don't like him in the first meeting then later on you will turn out  to be liking him in the succeeding days...of course we, women can sense which men do we feel intensely more liking or loving to.




And if ever there's really what we call destined people or soul mates, then no matter how many times you put down that guy who is supposedly your soul mate... he will still come back in your life and there's that mystery working on when you will get to realize that he's someone  missing in your life. And time to give your precious yes!

''Beating all the Odds in Life''

Like how I was supposed to feel everyday is counteracted by the sense of optimism in me. Sadness and full of frustrations are the common undesirable things often buzzing and whirring on my mind...but because i know its a waste of time to feel all these..coping mechanisms are always on my rescue.

Frankly saying,  some of my college friends and duty mates knew me best when it comes to reading up ones personality. Yeah, possibly I'm just so stubbornly predictable. Don't know if this makes a great sense of being positive or the other way around. My critics for good call me the queen of rationalization since i do a lot of this way back 2 yrs ago and even up to  until now. Because often i get late in every meetings whether in duty thing or just for fun..so,  they even  tagged me the ''cause of delay''  and just to counteract all their words against  me, i was always making sure I'm fully equipped of my rescue reasons to get me off drowning their way. And thank God though only a few reasons are justifiable and rationale to hear, still i end up relieved from the stress and anxiety i could have felt if it weren't for the ready made reasons I've got on my pocket.

The other thing is my reaction formation way in dealing stress and bad emotions deep inside. Honestly, my life is not as happy as a fairytale or maybe as complete as yours . With the way how our family began is no longer a good experience for me most especially how it had been during the difficult times. There were many hardships and struggles, crisis and emptiness that almost made me in distress and confused. Living without a mother and father is not what i expected of though a grandmother had filled up all that parents should have been doing for their daughter to live with a good life instead. Perhaps i was expecting  a lot... or maybe they just fell short much with their responsibilities and obligations..Well the latter is practicable and definitely true for me. Though, whatever it is that led into the many head and heart  aching stuffs I've been going through one thing's for sure,,, I'm trying to be positive and cope up with it just to stay okay.

So, its when i actually used the reaction formation way of coping that in order for me not to be absorbed and left drowned by the harshness and madness of life's problems and difficulties... i tend to smile and find ways to be happy instead. When  i could hear somebody crying and expressing ones heart aches,,,words of encouragement, inspiration and cheering up comes out of me and share it to that somebody just to let her realize she's not alone with it and that hope is way ahead waiting for us if we fight and never surrender in the battle against bad experiences in the passed as well as in the present times. Its part of the mechanism that i feel bad at those that easily breakdown and give up to their problems. Its as though theirs are the biggest and most odd things in the world.

There goes how I definitely handle my emotions and remain strong against the odds in life. Thinking that as i continue to live out life more and learn things accordingly, i will gradually discover more coping mechanisms in me  to face the stress and anxiety- producing experiences in life.

Good luck and God bless you guys! Hope everything's gonna be Alright. Beat the waves that's trying to hit you alive!

''Hearty Experiences''

hey I'm not advertising for this shoes...its just that when i see one of this color..i could remember only one man. He once become the object of my infatuation...oh dear sounds so funny -weird but its true. It was in my 3rd year in High school when i just suddenly fell so much, deeply liking him because he was a kind, strong and handsome officer of the CAT and being one of his subordinates...i really paid so much admiration in him.

When i was i n High school, i never thought a lot  on things of the heart just like liking, infatuation, admiring and much more getting on into a relationship..though i know its abnormally weird being in such mind set. Well stuffs were like this ..focusing on studies, achieving honors, winning in contests, pleasing my grandma as well as my teachers , staying for study time and going in the church...not until i dreamed  of something i just cant explain the feeling of.. and barely change the old dry color of my teen life. When i saw him in my dream we were both on the ground watching thousands of dragonflies flying above our heads while  my back was resting at him giving me a huge tight hug and smiling, feeling happy and in love with each other,, its weird but i could really feel the electricity that got into my nerves as his arms were wrapped around me. I could just feel the security that i will never be alone. Then when i got to school after being woke up from that dream... there's this different feeling I'm now into the guy in my dream..a spark was then present when we meet or just talk..and its a mystery because it was never happening before. Up to now, he's still special to me though he never ever had known of the crazy feeling i had before for him.

Kiddy Love Stuff

''Sand in the wind'' Most unforgettable yet amusing memory way back in my 1st grade  when i first thought of a kiddy  love. We would both heed our way up passing through a hilltop just to catch a glimpse of snowy thing out of the sand we release through the air before he would drop me into the front of our house. It was even so ridiculous knowing that my other friends would stoke us up to the hill just to check what's that we were making a secret of from them..until it had  never been a secret anymore..and they were just doing the same like we did out of the sand in the wind that both of us once  called as snow.

An Extremely Reserved Heart.. how could that be?

I don't know if you would believe me.. but yes I'm so dumb on tying up relationship with guys...how was that?


Actually never tried even for first time...so how could i tell whether I'd be bad at it...or..just good enough.. no one knows ..not until i get into it...experience wise!


Its been 22 years ago...actually turning 23 if i would end up still available by October of this year that i would be celebrating my ''being alone thing'' not referring literally.. but sort of when it comes to being with those sweet people calling their  honey, cupcake, sugar, love, sweety pie...blah blah...etc. of their lives..oh its a  buzz of  distress for my ears...i hope it doesn't mean of my insecurity...no no i don't think so. I'm never in a hurry you know...just trying to catch up just on time...and it doesn't point out to any particular time or year..i guess!
So, being unattached for me is not at all a very lonesome thing..although it is a bit but not to the point of its eating you alive..while being so helpless. I never cried because i haven't yet seen my Mr. Pal.. or pull anyone's guy bec i never still have one...or worst of all,  thought of committing suicide because of the depression and insecurities being alone. These are just horrid as it could be..though some gals really resort on  desperate things like these. I'm sure i will never be one of them...
who has ever heard of this cute quote? By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.”see? sometimes its not that bad, lonely, and frustrating at all  not to be  in a relationship yet, though its better to have one. Its only on how you manage to show your attitude to the public and show them contentment instead of despair and sobbing...try coping up if its affecting you badly.
 
I have this belief that if ever i get to be with someone,,, i hope and wish that he would be the first and could be the last man of my life...im a one man gal...This sounds so idealistic and obscure with the trends nowadays perhaps but things differ from one another,after all this does not apply at all times..only if  i first find ''the one'' that I'll be settling for good with him,,, on the other hand if i get to go with the ''not the one'' guy,, then no time for me to think twice or thrice and stay put on him,,, his not good enough for me and gonna get off him would be best move ever!
It only goes this way : ''If he can handle my worst then he deserves my best'' or the other way around
Its so nice to explore the world of honeys and sweety pies but..i don't think i could be running just as fast as these people do much to my delight but  i still have fixing plans to do...so much in line like a year or two wouldn't be enough...an ultimate repair and make over like body overhauling, pedicure, manicure, facial and the heavy matters in life.


I'd better be going until the time, the ''right time'' perhaps when he actually bumps in front of me and our sights cross over.

''A Date in Her Diary''

Just done reading ''A Date in Her Diary''..i love it much...Harriet Peel Is ultimately a super woman...though must have been left from the horrors of being loveless. still manage to fix her heart but in a weird, challenging yet interesting way of searching the One..that She had even compromised her everything.. but to the One..not wasted though..and best above all...never happened that her family time had been distorted...she was catching just every date on her planner on barely almost even not on time but just not missing it..I wish i could be like her by the time i can no longer figure out who the heck i will be with in the mid age of my romantic life.. and if i could already feel the crisis on which career path to heed on...i guess times like these would pop out nor of us knowing its already eating out our brains.